And the Microscope Goes Further Up Obama's Ass

written by the vassar comikaze

Unless you eat too much tofu to watch mainstream media, you've heard about Barack Obama's Special Olympics remark on the Tonight Show. In case you didn't see it (or are too lazy to click the link), he said his most recent bowling game was "like the Special Olympics or something." Obviously, saying that kind of thing on a popular television show when you're the motherfuckin' PRESIDENT is unacceptable. It's really more of an act of stupidity than insensitivity. When you say shit like that, you might as well beg every advocate for the disabled to rain down on your ass like those flying monkeys from The Wizard of OZ.

As stupid as his comments were, I can't help but have more respect for the guy. Granted, it's fucked up to make fun of the handicapped. But how many people can honestly say they've never even giggled at the notion of the special olympics, never laughed at Sean Penn's "full retard" performance in I Am Sam, never made a Christopher Reeve's joke (did you know his name used to be Christopher Walken)? If you haven't, then good for you... you fucking liar. We all say insensitive stuff from time to time in our close circles, Obama included. The only difference is that he said it to everyone in the world, and he's the President. His remarks, while stupid, reinforced the notion that he's a regular guy we can all relate to. He's smoked weed, he's glued to his blackberry and actually has a sense of humor.

After this mishap, I'm sure he won't make the same mistake again, but you're cuckoo bananas if you think it means it's the last time he'll EVER make an insensitive joke. The only way I'll lose respect for him is if he manages to be idiotic enough to fuck up like this again. Here's one way that could happen:

Washington, March 22nd 5pm.

Obama: I'd just like to take this opportunity to apologize for my unfortunate remarks on the Tonight Show. What I said...it was absolutely retarded of me. I can be a real mongoloid sometimes, and it causes me to slip up like that. There are a lot of decent, hardworking, drooling retards out there that did not deserve to suffer my insensitivity. The lone bright spot of this whole ordeal is that these brave invalids can't vote, so I have nothing to worry about come 2012. Thank you, and god bless America.