N.A.'s Diary of a Concerned White Boy

Guest Post: Written by N.A.

I've been noticing a lot more black skateboarders roaming the streets of New York City lately, and I honestly can't help but worry a little bit. Skateboarding is one of the few sports white people still dominate, but most white skateboarders are too busy smoking weed and not washing their hair to even be thinking about the chocolate apocalypse that is coming their way.

Let’s look at who’s been at the top of so called “white sports” in recent years. Golf: We got Tiger Woods destroying all these country club, mayonnaise eating, visor wearing white fucks. Honestly, the only slave left in this country is Phil Mickelson, and Tiger Woods owns him. Tennis: We got Serena and Venus Williams wreaking havoc, hitting balls twice as hard as Anna Kornikova can suck them. Serena and her ass could probably beat the best two white chicks in a doubles match. Swimming: Sure, Michael Phelps is wrecking shit now, but what happens when Usain Bolt gets overheated from running, jumps in a pool, and suddenly realizes that if he wanted to, he could lap Michael Phelps worse than I can lap a girl in Koopa Troopa Beach?

Based on the state of other sports, it’s really only a matter of time before white folks lose their edge in skateboarding. Tony Hawk better take his kids out of elementary school ASAP and train their asses 24/7. I don’t want to have to watch Woody Harrelson's decrepit ass star in "White Men Can't Ollie".